


A Mother's Love

by nigellus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Dark Harry, F/M, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slytherin Harry Potter, The Marauder's Map, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16883916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nigellus/pseuds/nigellus
Summary: In a world without prophecy, James has been killed in action. Left alone to raise their child, Lily realizes that Dumbledore can no longer protect them. Willing to to anything for her son, Lily runs to the only person who has a hope of helping them - her childhood friend, Severus Snape.Harry, now known as Hadrian Snape, grows up under Voldemort’s regime, the son of one his most loyal Death Eaters. Now entering his fifth year, Harry is a Slytherin Prefect, and a supporter of Voldemort.When he confiscates a mysterious map from the Weasley twins, he begins to discover the truth behind his heritage.Just who was James Potter?





	1. Prologue

Lily remembered the last time she had been to Cokeworth. It had been a few months before her parents had died, just after her marriage to James. Even then, she had been fighting You-Know-Who, and already had his attention as a threat. Lily and James had visited her parents to tell her that she was pregnant, and to urge them to leave the country. She had the idea they might be targeted by Death Eaters, for her connection to them. But her parents, ever stubborn, had refused to move.

A month later they were dead, killed by a Death Eater raid.

She had never intended on returning to Cokeworth. Her sister had long moved, and there was really no reason for her to go back. Until now.

She adjusted the precious bundle in her arms, looking out the window of her taxi. With the current political climate, it was safer to travel the muggle way, when possible. Not that it was safe to apparate with a baby in her arms.

It was a beautiful fall evening. Halloween, in fact, a night she should spend celebrating, with her husband and son. Instead, here she was, doing the unimaginable. She desperately wished there was another option. A better option. But wish James dead…

Lily stifled a sob, waking the baby. She choked back her tears as she hushed him back to sleep, whispering reassurances as she rocked him in the back seat.

The driver glanced back at her in the rear view mirror.

“Are you alright, miss?” he asked, clearly concerned. He seemed to be a good man, Lily thought. She hoped he made it through the war alright.

“I’m fine, thank you. It’s been a rough day,” she said, trying to smile. The driver, perhaps sensing that she wasn’t in the mood to talk, kept silent after that.

The thing she was about to do was foolish, she knew that. She was betting the lives of her and her son on the old affections of a childhood friend, one who had every reason to despise her now. Even if those reasons were awful and unfair.

Lily had no ideas what Severus felt about her now. If he ever even thought of her, or if he did, if it was a kind thought. She didn’t even know if he still lived in Cokeworth. It was the most distant of chances, but if it worked, if Severus agreed, it would mean safety for her and Harry. And for that, she would pay any price.

The truth was, she didn’t know what else to do. James was dead, killed by You-Know-Who himself. The Order of the Phoenix was decimated, down to a fraction of it’s previous size. Most of it’s members had been killed, or were in Azkaban. Dumbledore still held out hope, but Albus Dumbledore couldn’t protect them anymore. She wouldn’t trust him, not after he had let James die.

The fact was, You-Know-Who had won. Dumbledore might be ready to die fighting a pointless war, but Lily couldn’t be. Even if she wanted to, she had more that just herself to think about. Harry was her first responsibility, and she refused to leave him an orphan.

Oh, if they had only left the country when she found out that she was pregnant. They had talked about it, of course. But neither James nor Lily were cowards, and they had both been ready to fight. Well, if they had known was was going to happen, maybe things would be different. Maybe they would both be happy in France, or America, or some such place. But it was too late now. Lily might be able to get out of the country the muggle way, if she’d had any muggle money. As it was, she was too well known to risk Diagon Alley to exchange her galleons at Gringotts. She thought about hiding in the muggle world, but there was a lot of risk there. The Death Eater raids were at an all time high, and muggle-hunting was practically a sport to them. Besides, it wouldn’t be long before Harry started showing accidental magic, and once he did they would be found.

No, Severus was her best option. Him, and whatever mercy he had left. They had been the best of friends once, and if Severus had his way, they would have been lovers. But Lily had seen what Severus was becoming, what side of the war he had chosen, and ended their friendship before it could grow into something else.

And then there had been James, and love, and a happy marriage, and she had forgotten all about Severus Snape. Except to wonder, once in a while, if he was happy, if being a Death Eater and betraying her was worth it.

Well, it had been, hadn’t it? His side was victorious, and his rival was dead and buried. And now his childhood love was about to knock on his door and beg for sanctuary.

He was the only person who could protect them or would have the inclination to do so. Rumor had it he wasn’t just a Death Eater, but part of the Inner Circle itself, one of You-Know-Who’s most trusted followers. A person in that position must be able to help her. He _must_. Or this was all pointless, and completely foolish.

She was jolted out of her thoughts when the taxi stopped, pulled over on the side of the road. They had arrived at Spinner’s End. Lily carefully stepped out of the taxi, Harry in her arms, and paid the driver.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, miss?” he asked, clearly uncertain.

“I will be. And thank you,” she said to him, lying through her teeth. She wasn’t going to be alright. But he was only a muggle, and couldn’t do anything to help her.

As she watched him drive off, she had a mad thought to wave him down. He could take her away again. She could hide in the muggle world, safe from purebloods and Death Eaters.

It would work, but for how long? You-Know-Who’s people were looking for her, there was no doubt about it. She had been too bit a thorn in his side to leave alone. And she had heard rumors that they were tracking magic use, now that they had the Ministry under their control. Looking for muggleborns in hiding, like her, who were outside the protection of wards. Besides, she didn’t know You-Know-Who’s plans for the muggle world. For all she knew, he was planning on declaring war on the muggle world, and there would be no hiding any longer.

No, her best chance was with Severus. He could keep her safe, she just knew it. But it still took every ounce of Gryffindor courage she had to knock on his door. The minutes she had to wait seemed like they took hours, but finally, Severus answered.

At first he looked angry, as though he wasn’t expecting company and intended to make sure any visitors regretted it. But as soon as he saw Lily, his expression softened, then turned to shock. Lily supposed she was the last person he expected to show up at his door. But she was just relieved he was there.

“Lily! What in Merlin’s name are you doing here? Come inside, quickly,” he said, hurriedly pulling her through the door, mindful of the baby.

It was warm in the gloomy hallway, and Lily was glad to have Harry out of the cold.

“Severus. I didn’t know where else to go,” she said. “There isn’t anyone else I trust.”

“What about the Order?” he asked, not quite mockingly.

“You know what the order is nowadays. Your lord has gotten rid of most of them. Including James.”

Severus didn’t look moved.

“What do you want from me? I should turn you in, right now.”

“Or kill me, perhaps? Me, and my son?”

“James’s son, you mean.”

“My son. He won’t remember James,” she said, and for a moment she couldn’t continue, she was so filled with sorrow. “Please, Severus. You can help us, I know it.”

“What do you want from me? I can’t hide you from the Dark Lord.”

“No. But you can protect us from him, can’t you?”

“You’re muggleborn, Lily. And you’ve been openly fighting him. I don’t know what-”

“Marry me,” she said, breathless, forcing the words out. She had thought long and hard, and it was the only thing that would work.

“What?” he asked, stunned.

“Marry me. Adopt Harry. He could be your son. You-Know-Who - The Dark Lord, I mean. He’ll let you have that, won’t he? I’ve heard you’re in his Inner Circle.”

Severus still looked shocked.

“He might…” he said, trailing off. “Is that what you want? To use me? Second choice after Potter, just a means to an end? Is that all I am?”

He seemed almost desperate.

“No, Severus. Not that, never that,” she replied, and she didn’t know if she was lying. “I’ve missed you,” she said, and it was true, despite everything.

“You would never be here if Potter was still alive.”

“He’s not alive, though,” she forced herself to say. “And I am. I”m here now, with you. What happened to bring us here doesn’t matter.”

He was wavering, she could see it in his eyes.

“Severus,” she said, putting a hand on his arm. “Please.”

He sighed.

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll go to the Dark Lord in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the hundreds of Dark!Harry and Slytherin!Harry fanfics I've read in my fandom career, this story has been in the works for a long time. I finally sat down to write it, and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> While I have a basic outline, a lot of this story is still being planned out, so the tags might change as we go on. I also welcome any suggestions.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. The Hogwart's Express

The scarlet engine of the Hogwarts Express gleamed brightly in the sun. It was a warm day for September, and student and parent alike had shed jackets and outerrobes as they milled about the platform. 

Hadrian looked at over at the crowds, frowning slightly.

“Where is he?” he muttered to himself, adjusting the silver prefects badge he had pinned to his Hogwarts robes.  

“Draco will be here in time, Harry. Don’t worry,” his mother said, looking up at him.

“I know. He’s just so late! And please, it’s Hadrian, mum. I’ve told you a million times.” 

His mother smiled at him. 

“Oh, you’ll always be my little Harry. Indulge your mother, won’t you?”

Hadrian rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue further. If his mother insisted on calling him by that infantile nickname, he supposed he would have to let her. Even if “Harry” was a stupid name. His father never used it.

“Look, there he is,” his mum said, and pointed towards the entrance to the platform. Sure enough, there was Draco with his mother and father behind him.

Hadrian grinned. He couldn’t wait to see his best friend. True, they had visited each other over the summer, but it seemed like ages since then. And Hadrian was excited for the school year to start. After all, he was a prefect this year.

His mother’s smile had turned strained, and Harry was old enough to understand why, now. To understand the tension between his parents, and the Malfoys. 

After all, his mother was a muggleborn. Probably the highest ranked muggleborn in the country, being married to Hogwarts Deputy Headmaster. And the Malfoys were old purebloods, who didn’t really approve of his parents marriage. Mr. Malfoy and his father were old friends, though, and somehow they managed to keep their distaste for his mother minimal. Which was good. Hadrian agreed as much as the next person about blood superiority, but he didn’t take kindly to people insulting his mum.

Draco looked around the platform before spotting Hadrian, and waving madly when he did. He turned and said something to his parents, before making his way over to where Hadrian was waiting.

“Hadrian! How was your last week of summer?” Draco asked, grinning at him.

“Boring,” Hadrian admits. “I did some studying, but father’s been gone preparing for the school year, of course, so I haven’t been in the potions lab at all.”

“Only you would complain about that, Hadrian,” Draco complained. 

Hadrian shrugged, before turning his attention to Draco’s parents. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, a pleasure to see you again,” he said, with a pureblood’s manners. His father had been careful to instill them in him, because of his mixed heritage.

Mrs. Malfoy graced him with a smile, and Mr. Malfoy nodded slightly.

They ignored his mother, as usual, and she ignored them right back. Hadrian overlooked any awkwardness with practice, and he was sure Draco did the same. They were friends, and neither would let their parents get in the way. 

Soon, it was time to get on the train. Draco turned to his parents, and Hadrian turned to his mother.

Lily smiled at him. 

“I’m so proud of you for making prefect, Hadrian. Have a good term. I love you,” she said.

“Love you too, mum,” he replied, hugging her briefly.

He made his way to the train, pulling his trunk behind him ahead of Draco. 

They went to their usual compartment, the one they had shared since first year. It already had inhabitants; Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Theodore Nott, Hadrian and Draco’s friends. 

Blaise was lounging, his eyes closed, and Theo had a book, but Pansy had been waiting for them.

“Draco, Hadrian! I was worried you’d miss the train.”

Draco snorted.

“Of course not. We weren’t even that late, Pansy. Oh, do stop your fussing,” he said, as she stood up to hug him. “We just saw each other last month.”

Harry stifled a laugh. Draco and Pansy had an odd friendship. He a was waiting for them to start dating. The rest of their year had bets on when it would happen. 

“I’ve got to head to the prefects compartment now. Pansy, come on,” he said, after stowing his trunk.

 Pansy smirked a little, pulling the silver “P” out of her pocked and pinning it on her robes.

 "See you later,” she said to the others, and followed Hadrian out of the compartment.

Harry turned to her. He’d been worried about his position as prefect since he had gotten his letter, and Pansy was one of the only people he felt comfortable enough talking to about it.

“Pansy, do you think Draco’s okay about me being prefect?” he asked quietly as they slid past a couple second years.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Pansy asked, equally quiet.

Hadrian shrugged, suddenly self conscious.

“He’s not… jealous, or anything?” he asked, skirting around his real concern.

Pansy frowned.

“No, I don’t think so. You should talk to him about this, Hadrian,” she said.

But Hadrian persisted. You could trust Pansy to tell it like it was, and to keep a secret.

“No one thinks it’s favoritism, do they?”

It had been bothering him, but he hadn’t dared go to his father about it. And he knew his mother would dismiss his fears.

Pansy looked at him seriously.

“None of the Slytherins do. We know how hard you work. And who cares what the other houses say, anyway?”

That reassured him. It was true, that even though his father was Head of Slytherin House and Deputy Headmaster, Harry had worked for everything he got. And he knew his housemates understood that. But he had never been given anything as big as prefect before, so he supposed it was understandable that he was worried.

They arrived at the prefects compartment, and Hadrian curiously looked around. There was Padma Patil and Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw, Hannah Abbott and Ernie Macmillan from Hufflepuff, and -

“Ugh, it’s Weasley,,” Pansy groaned, muttering under her breath. Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown, from Gryffindor. “How did he get chosen as prefect? He’s useless.”

As if he could hear them, Weasley, turned and glared.

“Look’s like someone’s playing favorites again,” he said nastily. “What’d you do, Snape, ask daddy to be made prefect?”

Maybe if he hadn’t talked to Pansy, he might have been bothered. He might have even tried to retaliate. But with her recent reassurance in mind, he was able to let it roll off his back.

“You should take your concerns to the Headmaster, if you’re so worried, Weasley,” he replied. “Otherwise, leave me alone.”

He wasn’t like Draco, to get into a shouting match. Weasley always seemed to forget that. Like his father, he had learned better ways to deal with his enemies.

The head boy, a Slytherin of course, called the meeting to order, and Weasley settled down.

“Right, welcome to all the new prefects. Just an overview…” he began to drone on, and Hadrian listened attentively. He was going to prove that he was suited for prefect.

It was simple enough. They were given a list of their basic duties - enforce the rules, set a good example, don’t let the power get to their heads. It wasn’t as blunt as that, of course, but they were warned not to take too many points, especially the 5th years.

They were let go with orders to patrol the train, and keep mischief to a minimum.

“As long as we don’t have to deal with the Weasley twins, that should be easy,” Pansy muttered in his ear. Harry nodded. The twins were notoriously disrespectful of authority, including and maybe especially of prefects.

For Harry and Pansy, it would be fairly simple. Slytherin was invested in getting the House Cup yet again, and mostly policed themselves. Not that there were no problems, of course, but even the first years knew not to get too many house points taken, or face the older students wrath.

No, it was the other houses they were interested in. Any chance to take points from Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff would be welcome. After all, it was just an opportunity to get ahead. Not that such an attitude would be tolerated by the teachers, but it was one that prevailed in Slytherin.

The two Slytherin prefects did their rounds, before heading back to their compartment.

“You’ll never guess who’s Gryffindor prefect,” Pansy said, ever the gossip. Not waiting for a guess, she continued, “It’s Weasley! Can you believe someone gave him the position? Do you think it was your father, Hadrian?” she asked.

Hadrian snorted.

“I doubt it. But you know Slughorn. No doubt he wants to curry favor with one of the older Weasleys. Or maybe Ronald’s just the best of a bad lot,” he suggested.

Draco laughed at this.

“Can you imagine, their best being Ronald Weasley? The Gryffindors must be in poor shape.”

“Slughorn probably wants to encourage him to be more responsible, or something. He’s certainly the most well-known Gryffindor in our year,” added Theodore.

Hadrian shrugged.

“I suppose. I wish he didn’t have to inflict him on us, though. I’m going to have to see him every prefect meeting now,” he complained. 

“Never mind Weasley,” Blaise said, “I don’t want to hear about him any more than I have to. Thank Merlin I’m not prefect, I’d curse him before the day was out.”

“No wonder you were picked, Hadrian,” Draco added, “You’re usually the most level headed of us. Only you could deal with the Weasleys without resorting to magic.”

“And it’s a near thing. He tried to provoke me already,” Hadrian said, already feeling more reassured about everything, with his friends support. “I just hope I don’t lose my temper.”

It was a difficult thing, for Hadrian to lose control over his legendary temper. It had happened a few times over the years, with his enemies going to far, or even his friends. Draco, for example, set him off quite a few times in first year by insulting his parentage. At least before learning better.

But apparently the idea of him losing his temper at Weasley was one that at least some of his friends approved of.

“I’d rather like to see that,” said Draco. “He’d deserve it, anyway.”

“And then what,” interjected Pansy. “Hadrian would lose his prefect badge, and we don’t want that. Unless you think _you_ ought to be prefect, Draco?”

Hadrian rolled his eyes. He ought to have known that Pansy wouldn’t let his insecurities be.

Draco sniffed.

“Well, I _would_ do just as good a job,” he said casually, “but I’m sure I’d rather not have the extra responsibility. Being Quidditch captain, and everything.”

There was absolute uproar in the compartment, and Hadrian, while demanding an explanation from his friend, thought that this was just like Draco. Keeping the news to himself just to be reveal it at the most dramatic moment.

Draco basked in the attention. And Hadrian couldn’t find it in himself to be frustrated with his friend. If Draco didn’t hold being chosen prefect against him, Hadrian didn’t mind not being told about the quidditch captaincy. Though a part of him wished he had known. It would have saved him a great deal of worry.

Hadrian himself wasn’t on the quidditch team. He enjoyed flying, but not the sport. Though of course he was at every Slytherin game to support Draco - and now he was sure to be dragged along to _every_ game to do research on their tactics. Not that he really minded, he supposed. Quidditch games were always fun, and a break from his studies.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” he said, grinning, shoving Draco’s shoulder playfully.

Draco looked affronted for a moment, before his glee took over.

“Well, I didn’t want to distract from the glory of you two being prefects,” he said airily. “Besides, it was a last minute decision. Montague was meant to be captain, but it was found out he cheated on the potions final. Apparently, he’s disqualified from the quidditch captaincy now, or at least that’s what father heard.”

For a moment, Hadrian wished that his own father would have told him. As headmaster, he would have been privy to that information before even Lucius Malfoy. But his father prided himself on his professionalism, and wouldn’t divulge that sort of thing to Hadrian, or even to his mother. It would be foolish for him to be upset about something so trivial. And anyway, it was only quidditch.

They spent the rest of the ride to Hogwarts teasing Draco for his dramatic tendencies and discussing their chances to get both the Quidditch Cup and the House Cup. While Slytherin usually dominated one or the other, they rarely got both. Which Pansy found to be entirely unfair.

“Slytherin is clearly the best house. The Dark Lord was a Slytherin, after all,” she had said, to the general agreement of the rest of them. It was a point of pride in Slytherin house that the Dark Lord was one of theirs.

As much as Hadrian enjoyed the ride to Hogwarts, and spending time with his friends, he was particularly excited when the train finally pulled into Hogsmeade Station. Hogwarts was his home just as much as Spinner’s End, maybe more so, and he was pleased to return there. He would miss his mother, that was certain, but he could write to her, and she would always write to him.

When he was in first year, he used to wish that his mother worked at Hogwarts, as well, so that it really could be home. It wasn’t until he was older that he realized how impossible that dream was - a muggleborn, however well married, could never teach at Hogwarts. Not under the Dark Lord’s rule. That was fair, he later understood, but he still wished an exception could be made for his mum. She was very talented, especially for a muggleborn, and would make an excellent teacher, in his not so humble opinion.

Maybe when he was older he could enact some changes. Make exceptions for muggleborns who proved themselves, or something of that kind. Hadrian was ambitious, even for a Slytherin, and had plans for his future. Maybe it had something to do with his heritage, or maybe it was because of his father’s position. Either way, he had something to prove.

“Hadrian, you’ve got that look again,” said Theo.

He looked up from where he was staring out of the carriage window.

“What look?” he asked, bewildered. 

“Just the one where you look as if you’re planning to upstage the Dark Lord himself or something,” Theo joked.

Hadrian smirked. Maybe he was. Maybe Hadrian Snape could become a wizard to be feared, even by the mighty Lord Voldemort.

After all, he had plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update! This chapter sat half-written for ages, as I struggled with writer's block.  
> Hopefully the next update won't be too far in the future.  
> Thanks to everyone who's read, left kudos, and commented!


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